Thursday, July 21, 2016

Squash Baby

So I have a coworker who absolutely hates squash. We go around and around, with him coming up with pithy little statements designed to get on the squash-lovers' nerves (this includes our winery chefs and a couple of tasting room folks). Things like, "I have a great recipe for squash. Cut the squash into little pieces, throw it into the trash, and go find something else to eat." Ha ha.

Those of us who like squash are always in a difficult time at this point in the year anyway, because while we really like squash, we've also had enough of it to last us awhile (although I will never admit this to my squash-hating coworker). Luckily I work in a place that allows and encourages practical jokes. And so the idea of Squash Baby was born. Basically I nurtured one GIANT squash among my plants here at home until I had a 12 pound huge zucchini. Squash Baby got plenty of water and plenty of fertilizer, in order for him to reach his full potential.

 I went to the Goodwill and bought him some baby clothes (the onesie actually has a tractor and says, "homegrown!") and a hat. Then I pulled four more squash at roughly identical lengths to make two arms and legs.

And then I left Squash Baby in my coworker's office, so it greeted him in his chair on Monday morning. 

Haven't heard a bad comment about squash since then. I think Squash Baby now inhabits his nightmares. I know it does mine.


  1. Okay that is so funny! Haha it's all in the details and you did them perfectly! One of my preschool teachers was an avid gardener and I was that early too! I was mesmerized by her vegetable garden and especially the giant zucchini so she would always bring me the giant ones that seemed to spring up overnight or hide under leaves. I love zucchini. Though I don't grow it myself. It's so cheap at the farmers market!

    1. And they're free if your neighbors find out you like squash lol. So I guess your preschool teacher spotted a future gardener in you! Part of the problem with zucchini is that the hybrids are such Frankenstein's Monsters in terms of production. I planted a couple of heirlooms at the winery for fun (in addition to the monsters) and they produce so much less! So for a small crop I think that's the secret. This is the last year I'm planting Black Beauty hybrids here at the house.