Two eras

Last weekend, my husband and I had an old-fashioned date.  We went wine tasting, to a concert, and then out to dinner. No big deal, right?

But the fact that my husband accidentally left his smart phone at home sent us back a decade or two, and that was what made it old-fashioned.  We spent an entire 10 hour period just experiencing life together, without the aid (or distraction) of the phone.  There were no work calls, no ball game scores to check, and no texts from our grown children.  It was kind of awesome, and strongly reminiscent of dates I've been on in my past.  Because I was a young adult during a time when the mobile phone was not yet a common thing.

In my lifetime, I actually feel like I've lived through two technological eras:  The first was the computer, and the second was the cell phone. Now, of course, those two things have been combined in the smart phone. 

I was thinking this morning about what might be different in my life if I had grown up with these devices the way my children have.  There is no question these devices change situations and even relationships with their presence, as evidenced by our date day last weekend.  There was a lower level of frustration from me because my husband was not constantly distracted by his screen.  He was more able to focus on conversation and the shared experience of the concert we went to and the wine and meals we shared.  It brought us closer.

But if the smart phone had been around in the early '80's when I was young and single, what might have changed?  Well, I waited by the phone a lot for one particular man, and that would never have happened.  Who knows, maybe I would have sent him a text asking him what was up, and all that build-up of unrealistic expectations and thwarted romance would never have built up any steam, which could certainly have been a game changer.  I hung in there on that relationship for about eight years.  Perhaps if I'd been able to text him more and find out exactly what was going on, I never would have put up with all that.  After all, our imagination used to fill in the blanks when we were absent from our love-crush.  Oh, he hasn't called because he's at the studio and can't get away.  Oh, he's late again because the traffic on the 405 is so bad this time of day.  Nowadays, if we want to know why someone hasn't called or shown up, we just let our thumbs do the talking, or check their Facebook or Twitter status.

What about the times I was with someone I shouldn't have been with, someplace I should never have gone to?  Would a cell phone or texting changed things?  Made me feel guilty when the "where are you" text came in from a third party?  Quite probably. 

And of course when I was in my early 20's I took off and backpacked around Europe for several months.  And one of the things that made that so life-changing was the fact that I was out of touch with everyone I knew for all those long months, which I credit for helping me discover who I really was.  Nowadays the kids who do this have their trusty phone and laptop with them, and are not be out of touch with anyone any more than they would be if they were just around the block.  Not a change for the better, sadly.

Yes, there is no doubt that life would be profoundly different if I'd been born 30 years later.  Some things, like romance and travel are perennial, but how they manifest in a person's life is not.  I'm glad I'm from the era I am, but I do like to wonder sometimes about what exactly would have changed with a screen and a network handy and ever-present communication available.  It's one of those advances that's so large, it's almost impossible to fathom every little and big change it would have made.  But it's worth thinking about when assessing whether or not we've become too dependent on them.