Neighbors

Back when I was living in LA, a good friend once likened the city to a cage filled with chimps.  She was an animal behaviorist, and had worked with primates in her college years.  She told me that if you have a cage (like a zoo cage, for example) and place three or four primates inside it, within a short period of time they will figure out a hierarchy and things will proceed along smoothly.  Put 20 primates into the same sized cage, and you will set the stage for intra-species murder, in this case chimp murdering chimp.  Intra-species murder is something very rare in the wild, and usually only happens when something within the animals' environment has gone terribly wrong -- like having too many others like you, too close.  

Her point, of course, was that we human primates have clustered ourselves into cities, and there are more of us per square mile than there should be.  LA's homicide rate was proof of this, she said, just like the chimps.

I think she is right.  Sure, we gather together for protection and a sense of community, but every one of us "chimps" still needs a certain amount of space to be comfortable -- especially once any predators like  wolves or bears are no longer a threat and we know we'd be OK with a little more space.  Then we resent being gathered around in thick clusters as if we're in danger.  

I live in a subdivision with small lots.  No, I don't want to hurt/murder or do any kind of intra-species damage whatsoever to my fellow chimps neighbors.  I actually really like my neighbors.  My next door neighbors are my favorites. But I have to say, on summer days when they gather out by their swimming pool I tend to close up my windows so I can't hear the music and kids screaming.  Several of my neighbors have pool pumps and I hear them if I'm hanging wash outside. That gets annoying sometimes.  An acre between us would not hurt anything.  I'd still wave to their kids, stop to chat when coming home, and bake them homemade Halloween and Christmas treats. My neighbors are not the only ones who create noise, either.  We have a dog who occasionally barks continuously for no apparent reason (despite our best efforts to stop her) and I'm sure its tried the patience of every one of our neighbors. I say again, an acre between us would not hurt anything.  

This is one of the many reasons we're looking for country property.  There's just too many chimps in this cage.

So here is my take on city planning.  it's a cool little 8-point primer to know if there's too many chimps in your cage:

You know you’re living too close to your neighbors when:

1. You've ever accidentally flooded your neighbor’s yard using a garden hose in yours (I include this because I did it yesterday).

2. You pass gas while on the toilet and suspect your neighbors can probably hear it from their patio.

3. You know the names of one of your neighbors' dogs and/or children only because you’ve heard the adults in the house screaming at them in their back yard.

4. You can’t hear your TV when your neighbor is mowing his lawn or blowing off his sidewalk with the leaf blower.

5. With your windows open, you can, however, keep up with whatever television program your neighbors are watching.

6. You can smell exactly how much lighter fluid your neighbor used to start up his barbeque.  You can also tell exactly what he’s cooking.

7. You know what musical instrument your neighbor plays, and you also know he doesn't play very well.

8. You have reason to believe that when you’re standing in your back yard talking to yourself, you are not the only one who’s listening.

9. When searching for new property, your first task is to check and see how close your neighbors' houses would be, and assess whether any of the above might be true once again.  If it is, you move on and look at something else.

Some people don't mind living in a subdivision, surrounded by other people.  Even though we've been blessed with good neighbors -- people who we enjoy living near -- we'd still enjoy life a lot more in an area with one house per acre and space between.  That is all.