Friday, April 4, 2014


When you decide to make a change in lifestyle, such as adopting homesteading practices, the first thing you will need to do is establish boundaries where other people are concerned, because most assuredly, everyone will have an opinion about what you're doing.

Some people will be supportive and others resistant; your job will be to take all the good advice you can get to heart but remember that everyone, and I do mean everyone, has an agenda.  

Usually the goal of people's agendas is to prove they are right. So, to that end, if they're homesteaders themselves they can often offer practical, helpful advice. They'll listen from a point of knowledge or experience and support your efforts by pointing you towards practices or resources which will help you do what you would like to do, and help you get there.

But other people have different agendas. Some times, for whatever reason, their goal is not so much to prove themselves right, but prove YOU wrong. And they will resort to some interesting subterfuge, such as manipulation, guilt, sarcasm, or confrontation, all to see that you are emotionally undermined in what you're doing. They may not de-value you directly, but that is how it feels, even if all the while, they are saying they really are on your side.

But saying it doesn't make it true.

Bottom line, if you're going to get anywhere in life, you'll need to build some healthy boundaries from the naysayers. As well as figure out who the naysayers are.  And this can be difficult because although the naysayers generally say negative things, sometimes your best friends -- with your best interests at heart -- may also not always say exactly what you want to hear. But unlike the naysayers, they do understand you, they do know what they're talking about and they are really trying to help you. Distinguishing between the two can be difficult.

Support comes in many forms, but sometimes the trick is intuiting when it's true support and when it's destructive sabotage. Know yourself, get comfortable in your own skin and it gets clearer.  But when you're making life changes, that makes it more challenging.

Find the grounded people around you and keep them close.


  1. I could see how this could be a slippery slope. As a logical person (even a borderline one like me), there is an inclination to mistake other people's doubts as fact. But at that point it's like always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    1. I'm always amazed when people are threatened when YOU make a change in your own life. And yes, casting doubt on your choices is one way people can really sabotage you. What I still haven't figured out is whether they themselves are even conscious they're doing this, or if it's just their nature to doubt success everywhere. Interesting.