Dear Mega-Retailers of America,
Thank you for making it possible for me to buy all manner of goods and services, both needed and totally, ridiculously unnecessary. However, please be advised of the following:
1. I will not join your so-called "club" and carry your card around with me, everywhere I go, like an piece of identification. The Rotary is a club. The Daughters of the American Revolution is a club. Lowe's, Orchard Supply, Rite Aid, and PetCo are not clubs. They are businesses. Since you yourself are a business, you should be aware of this important fact.
2. I will not take your online surverys, with the chance to win a $1,000 shopping spree. This would involve me either giving you my address or email, neither of which are any of your business. I don't want you contacting me, sending me coupons for things I don't need which expire a week after their send date anyway. You're trying to get me back into your store to buy more things as quickly as possible. Let's agree on the foolishness of this, and dispense with the charade.
3. I will pay with green, paper cash whenever possible, so that neither you nor anyone else can track my purchasing history, just because I don't feel like handing over that information to you. I will buy something, then walk out of your store, mostly anonymously. The main reason for this is that I refuse to allow you to analyze my spending patterns to figure out how to get me to spend more.
Please consider yourselves on notice. You have officially now become either Big Brother or The Man (take your pick), and I'm sticking it to you by keeping my information to myself.
Your friend (well, not really),
Diane
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